Back Again

New Year, new me, new hair

Well, it’s been a minute since I last posted anything. Fur those who might be worried that my silence signaled a relapse into depression: you can rest easy- my mood has been stable and my outlook has generally been positive. Life just got busy: Holidays. Year end. A few big work deadlines. Short days. Etc. I gave myself permission to give up on the blogging for a while. I didn’t feel like I was writing anything very meaningful, and the stress of trying to write something every day was stress that I didn’t want or need.

At the time it was freeing. Now, I’m debating whether it is worth getting back into the habit again. Generally speaking, life is still pretty full with work and writing and life, so there’s no obvious time to set aside for it. I still don’t have a “vision” for what I want this blog to be About- mostly it’s just my train of thought. And so far this hasn’t been a year of big goals: I didn’t make any New Year’s resolutions, and I’m not terribly focused on restructuring my life in any meaningful way. Mostly, I’ve been trying to simplify: getting rid of clutter, purging old contacts, deleting old tweets… It feels good to let go. Freeing. It feels right, somehow.

Maybe it’s a subconscious desire to clear the drawing board in preparation for bigger and better things. That’s my hope, anyway. I went and got my Tarot cards read on New Year’s Eve: I’d kind of been dreading the new year and hoped that getting a little esoteric guidance might help me redirect my mind towards more hopeful things. I have to say it was very helpful: I do feel like I’m about to take a big step forward, so now feels like a good time to get my ducks in a row.

So, the bottom line is: I’m going to try to get back to writing regularly, but right now it’s not a high priority and there might be gaps between posts. If you’re a regular reader and you are interested to hear my thoughts on something in particular, I’m happy to take suggestions of topics to write about. I’d also like to get better about taking and posting more photographs again- I’m just putting that thought out there to help hold myself accountable.

Here’s to the adventure of a new year!

~ by Gwydhar Gebien on January 7, 2020.

One Response to “Back Again”

  1. Here, here. I knew as much. Or, I guess, I am glad to hear it. I DID say something to the effect–as I tell just about everyone I find here who wants to commit to daily blogging–it’s too much expectation unless you have a consistent product to deliver. I don’t know any site or writer of any kind who puts out a daily anything, except maybe newspaper columnists…and even that I cannot assure as I don’t look at the newspaper every single day. And, surely, even they take vacations and get fillers. So, relax and be glad you’re okay. I am glad you are okay.

    Though, in my case, I WOULD attribute my absence to anxiety and depression, which has taken me a bit by surprise with its intensity. I cannot help feeling as if I am fighting against a current, pulling me down to my demise yet lulling me into a pocket if childlike resistance. I just want to curl up like a cat and sleep the days away when I am not eager to indulge in childish fun. And, the weather is so mild….I should be doing more with it.

    Perhaps, you can look at blogging two ways. You can make personal posts to free your pent-up feelings that otherwise aren’t getting satisfactory expression. And, you can make other posts for when something big comes up or you just want to discuss a “publicly current event,” like politics, nature uprisings, etc. So, basically, what I’ve been doing, aside from my creative outputs and movie reviews.

    It sounds like what you need most is fewer people and duties but a more enriching simplicity, less quantity, better quality of life. You don’t need ten dull or flawed diamonds, just one or two polished ones. It’s that other pesky voice in your head that is prodding you to do something else, something uncertain and unnerving. Cast that voice out and embrace your simple yet quality contentment.

    I don’t know what to say of tarot cards…nor would I be very eager to have them read so close to such a day…it would just spoil my festive mood, whether or not the news was good. I’d either be skeptical of the good report or be troubled by a bad one and not be able to celebrate…if I even celebrated much with my lack of good company.

    There seems to be a general astrological feeling that big things are coming for us all…but who is to say which of us benefit from that force and who get trampled or slighted. Some big shift or change is coming; we just gotta hope we are on the benefitting side of it. And, if not, be prepared to endure and move on.

    You post a lot of selfies, I notice. Is this some self-evaluation effort? To check your “face reading” each time?

    If you need someone to speak with, I hope you can count on me, whatever the case. And, it would be nice if I could count on you, as well.

    Happy new year, “Red.”

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