Bass Show

•February 24, 2020 • Leave a Comment

Went to a friend’s bass show/birthday party on Saturday night for a change of pace. I didn’t get to RSVP until the morning of the show on account of not knowing whether I was going to be working that day: the film I’ve been working on was slated to have a “friends and family” screening which, by some arcane twist of logic, did not include the friends or family of anybody on the crew. Still, it had been a busy week of long days and late nights and Murphy’s Law seemed to dictate that I’d get called in to work if I tried to make other plans, which left things to the last minute.

But things worked out and my schedule cleared up and we were able to go.

The party was for a friend I hadn’t seen not heard from in over a year. Partly, this was my own fault for not keeping in touch: at the time- in the most dramatic pitches of my depression, it had just been too much work. I was glad to find her in good spirits: promoting a new album and killing it on stage. A good time was had by all, and by the time we went home we felt like we’d had enough of a good time to merit staying out past our bedtime.

When I wasn’t out enjoying the Los Angeles music scene, I was holed up at home, focused on fine tuning the manuscript for my novel. I’d recently gotten a request from an agent to read the full draft and I was anxious to get my word count down to a fighting weight. I’d promised a 180,000 word novel and my manuscript was still weighing in at 184,700 and some change. In truth, I’d expected it to take longer for my more recent queries to bear any fruit and thought I’d have plenty of time to fiddle with individual sentences to my heart’s content. Instead, I found myself suddenly On Deadline and kept having to remind myself to stay on task.

I stayed on task.

At least, I stayed on task enough to reach my word count goal and to have a draft ready to send as of this morning. It is now off in the wide world in search of its fortune. I eagerly await news of its journey.

Moving Stationary

•February 16, 2020 • Leave a Comment

The Curmudgeonly Lion had to work on Saturday giving me the house to myself for the early part of the day. And what did I do with all this alone time? Organized my stationary, that’s what.

I have a lot of stationary. I always ask for it for Christmas and birthdays, and somehow it has accumulated over the years into an abundant collection- which I love- but it was spread out over three or four different cabinets and drawers and I didn’t even know what I had anymore. So, I spent hours going through it, consolidating it, sorting it, moving it around… In the end I didn’t get rid of much, but at least now I have a better sense of what I have on hand.

I might just be in an organizing mode: later in the evening I went out to the shed and spent forty minutes tidying and consolidating there as well. It feels good to have it done, but I kinda wish it hadn’t taken me all day to do it. Hopefully, just having a clearer mind moving forward will be helpful in the long run.

Jewel Tree II

•February 13, 2020 • Leave a Comment

Yesterday I posted an in progress photo of a jewelry rack I was making and today I finished it.

It’s great for hook earrings but I need to give some thought to how to incorporate stud earrings. And it turns out I have a lot of necklaces and bracelets I’ve forgotten about due to the fact they live in my jewelry box and I never see them. Next challenge…

Jewel Tree

•February 12, 2020 • Leave a Comment

For a while now, I’ve had this notion of turning an old bulletin board into a jewelry rack, I just didn’t have the gumption or energy to actually work on it until this past weekend. I’m not sure I can even say what motivated me to start actually working on it, but here we are. The photo is still a work in progress, of course- I still have to install the actual wires from which the jewelry will hang, but I was pleased enough with how it was coming along that I wanted to share.

Little Goals

•February 10, 2020 • Leave a Comment

Traffic was eerily light so I arrived at my therapy session with too much extra time to want to sit in the waiting room, but not enough time to fire up my laptop and work on my novel. So, I thought I’d write a quick post.

I’m working on being more diligent about my goals: I was pretty lax about them for the past few months. For a long time I just didn’t have the bandwidth to tackle them: I had exactly enough energy for ONE creative endeavor and I put it all towards working on my novel. Now, though, I’m finding that my creative interests are rebounding. I actually draw a little bit now and then. I began working on my diorama project instead of just thinking it to death. I decided to make myself a jewelry rack and actually put in some work to accomplish it. I’m reading books again. I’m interested in travel. It feels good.

So now I’m trying to get back in the habit of writing a post every day. My original goal was to try to post a daily gratitude every day for a whole month, but I kinda tanked that one on Feb 2nd, so now I’m just trying to write a *bit* more often and go from there. We’ll see how it goes.

Dollar Rosary

•February 7, 2020 • Leave a Comment

I found a rosary in the street: the cheapest plastic kind you can buy. I picked it up because it seemed like a sign, although I wasn’t sure if what. I’m not Catholic and I don’t know the prayers for each bead or the significance of the ritual, but I supposed that didn’t matter: if the Powers That Be were unwilling to listen to an uninitiated voice then I felt certain they were not the Powers upon whom I wished to call.

It occurred to me that a rosary might be just as useful for retraining my thoughts as it was for prayer. I often spend my daily walks stewing about people who have wronged me. Or, at least, people that I have felt wronged by: which sounds the same but isn’t. I know I should be letting these thoughts go, but that’s not an easy task. If I think about them, it’s like feeding a fire: it just keeps burning and burning and just gets hotter and harder to put out. And if I try not to think about them, it’s like leaving a fire unattended: it just keeps burning and finds new places to spread.

I thought that perhaps with the help of the rosary’s counting beads I might be able to change a small thought through repetition. I forgive them for hurting me, and release my anger. I forgive them for hurting me and release my anger…

I focused on the names of the people occupying my mind and tried to erode the thoughts around them.

I forgive them for hurting me transformed into I forgive them for the pain I felt because of them transformed into may I be forgiven for cursing their names transformed into I wish them well.

I’m not yet sure if I’ve made a dent in the bad faith I’ve built up over the past couple years, but it felt like a start. Maybe with practice I’ll get the knack of it.

Drawing of a Hoodie

•February 5, 2020 • Leave a Comment

 
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